Why I married T

Happy Valentines’ Day everyone! T and I don’t really believe that this day should be more special than others when you’re in a relationship. In fact, we were joking about celebrating anti-Valentine’s and robbing a Hallmark store – stealing V-day cards by the truckloads!

I don’t believe that there’s someone for everyone so if you’re alone, I’m sorry life is unfair – hey look, I’m short, fat and struggling to be a housewife. On one hand, I think some people are jerks and deserve to be alone for the rest of their lives. On the other hand, I feel sad that some perfectly kind and gorgeous people unfortunately just seem to have no luck finding love. So if you’re not a jerk, I hope life is kind to you in other ways but don’t give up just yet! And because I know that it’s not a given, I am grateful to have married someone so wonderful.

People get married for all sorts of reasons. My ex-classmate M is married to the same guy she’s been with since we were 14 (and we’re 36 this year)! Some of my friends get married because they think “it’s time” or are pressured into getting married because they’ve been with their partners “long enough”. Another old friend of mine admitted that he settled because he was sick and tired of being in and out of relationships, even though he’s not sure if she’s “the one”. I’ve also had friends who are really decent and smart people but have regretted a bad marriage (or two). Relationships not easy and it takes effort to keep things going even if you’re perfect for each other. There’s always some give and take. While I don’t believe in changing for someone or changing someone after getting together, I think it’s important to understand the need to take turns compromising with your partner. If not, you’re better off alone instead of being in an unhappy relationship.

T and I have rather different personalities – he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert. I’m willing to try new experiences and am excited to meet new people. He’s shy beyond belief and very uncomfortable in unfamiliar environments . I don’t mind being the butt of jokes sometimes and can pick myself up quickly enough. He still feels the repercussions of growing pains especially of his awkward teenage years. He’s about 5′ 10″ and I’m barely 5′ tall. Then there’re the cultural differences and being on opposite ends of the globe (it takes about 24hrs to fly from Las Vegas to Singapore).

Here’s why he’s great for me – his quiet calm is the perfect foil to my over-enthusiatic nature and keeps me grounded; he’s smart yet not an asshole about it; and I’m sometimes glad he didn’t have many close friends before he met me – I know, I’m terrible. But I have so many people in my inner circle that I’d be torn to spend time with different people otherwise. These days however, I love that we’re making new friends together.

So anyway, to end my long rambling essay, I married T because of 3 solid reasons:

1. he is a kind and supportive partner who accepts all that I am (even the weird stuff I throw at him)
2. he wants to hang out with me all the time (except shopping which he hates)
3. he encourages me to be happy

It doesn’t hurt that I think he’s got a handsome baby face and is a dependable breadwinner. Bonuses on all count!

And because I know that not everyone gets this opportunity, this Valentines’ Day I count my lucky stars and will treasure the gift who is T.