Posted in Rants & Raves

Dear 16 year old self…


Dear 16-year-old Self,

It’s okay to be fat and have weird rectangular eyebrows – unfortunately you’ll overpluck them in the next few years, yet fortunately in the future, they have this thing called eyebrow embroidery. Your friends now won’t understand the kind of music you listen to, the books you read or the kind of movies you like. But it’s okay, you’ll meet a huge community that does… eventually.

You’ll spend the next half of your life finding yourself and getting into a lot of trouble before finally realising that you’ll only be happy with the standards you set for yourself. It’ll be tough and heart-breakingly so but not impossible.

The best things in life, aren’t things. You’ve never been particularly worried about material wealth because your parents have always given you more than enough. Sometimes though, you forget that you already have it all, but not often… so that’s still okay.

Your life’s journey is largely full of bumps and self-discovery. Lucky for you, you’ve always been surrounded with special people who strangely always catch you when you need them. If you want to count your lucky stars, just look around you – even if these “stars” sometimes say things to discourage you and make you lose your way. They are not trying to get you down, but they do anyway. It’s still okay because you always find a way to pick yourself up.

There are so many things you’ll end up doing that you could’ve never imagined now. School’s actually not half bad (you actually do make it to University… SURPRISE!) and you’ll be gainfully employed for a long time after you graduate. Work won’t be hard because you’ll love all the jobs you land and surprisingly, all your colleagues. I won’t spoil it for you now but you do end up finding your dream job – you can’t imagine what it is because it doesn’t exist in the entire country just yet.

It’ll take another half your life (and a little more) before you finally meet your life partner – partly because you’re really picky and you refuse to settle for just anyone. Along the way, every other person you meet and date will help shape your thoughts, beliefs and resolve even if they inadvertently break your heart. And at the end, you’ll outdo your expectations – he’s awesome! Yes you’re still fat but what’s great is, he doesn’t care. This person encompasses all the attributes you hold dear but you’ll be surprised if I tell you where he lives and what he’s doing now (you haven’t heard of D&D yet) – look out for something called the Internet.

Life is awesome even though it isn’t perfect. It’ll be a constant battle to love yourself but at least you’ll ALWAYS have hot showers, a cosy bed, great music and nice clothes (okay you actually wear quite shitty clothes till your late 20s when you stop being conscious about hiding your fats).




I produced an indie music festival in Singapore for 7years before I moved to the US to be with my indie game dev husband Tom who made Axiom Verge and Axiom Verge 2. We live in Los Angeles, California with our son Alastair (named for Alastair Reynolds) and our dog Goliath (named for his size).

11 thoughts on “Dear 16 year old self…

  1. So sweet! I love it. I really wish I could give my 20 year old self a talking too! 😉 Thanks for sharing! P.S. I got my package, so excited, but saving it up till we get closer to the 25th!

  2. I wrote one of these recently, out of the blue, and I didn’t realise how cathartic it would be. I realised how happy I am now being me, and I just wish other people would start liking themselves, when the imagined flaws they think they have really don’t exist xx

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