Posted in Rants & Raves

Fat-o-sphere against each other

I’m not going to perpetuate the thing that started it all and one can easily do a search on the web if you wish. But this thing with “smaller fats” versus “bigger fats” is ridiculous. It’s bad enough that the fashion industry forces women to be a certain size and make looking a certain way more desirable than it is natural. Why are people pitting themselves against each other to claim the right to be called “fat”? So there’s this thing about thin being a privilege and then a fat acceptance movement that is defining who can be included in their club. I just wish that people would just focus on the key issue – body positivity i.e. embrace the body that is yours.

Regardless of what size you are, both mental and physical health are just as important. I can never go on a restrictive diet so I try to eat less and healthier, then exercise more. But I don’t always do. In fact, I’d admit that more often than not, I end up bursting whatever limits I give myself and cave in to lethargy (alright, sloth). Because if I don’t, I get depressed. I think I’m more depressed not being able to eat or forcing myself to exercise than I am being fat. Call it what you want but I prefer not choosing physical health over mental health. I’ve been down that road and it’s a story for another day.

I’m not going to pretend that blogging empowers me. More power to you, if for you it does. I have so many other things going in real life that already do just that. Blogging is at a stretch cathartic but it began as a frivolous exercise and shall always be for me. I endeavour to focus on light-hearted topics and be all bimbo happy-happy joy-joy. In fact, it doesn’t bother me that people assume from my blog that this is all I am. Sorry, I digressed but I don’t understand this angst-ridden fat-shaming and tirade over man-made labels.

So anyway, I’m an in-betweenie it seems. Another fashion industry term for those too big to wear regular straight size store clothes and too small to fit into most plus sized lines. I’m obese according to my current BMI of 30. And at one point, I was medically morbidly obese when I weighed about 100kgs while standing only at 1.53m tall. What I understand is happening now is that unless I lose another 20kgs, I’ll be ostracised by both the big fats and the skinny lasses. Why?! Fat is fat. Period. There should be no bigger fats against smaller fats. It is my right to be whatever size I want and I am what I identify myself with. Isn’t what this body positive talk is all about? That at whatever size you are, you are allowed to do whatever it takes for you to be a happy camper.

I’ve battled obesity almost all my life. My mother gave me my first diet pills when I was 8. They were these cardboard like tablets called Fibre Trim and it’s supposed to help you eat less by filling you up. My weight has yo-yoed from my pre-teens, all through my 20s until about 6 years ago when I decided to make some lifestyle changes. I have probably lost about 30kg from quitting the bottle and smokes, exercising and then gradually becoming vegetarian. It was a slow process and I wasn’t keeping tabs on my weight or counting calories. I didn’t set a goal in sight to be thin and I didn’t think thin was better. It can be healthier but not necessarily better otherwise. It was only when I came to the realisation that I didn’t have to wait for the day I became thin to make myself happy that suddenly everything became clearer. People should just do what they want for themselves and not be ashamed of whatever choice they make.

And if I lose more weight in the coming year, don’t judge. It’s my weight to lose or gain. Not anyone else’s.

People should just accept who they are and forget the labels.


I produced an indie music festival in Singapore for 7years before I moved to the US to be with my indie game dev husband Tom who made Axiom Verge and Axiom Verge 2. We live in Los Angeles, California with our son Alastair (named for Alastair Reynolds) and our dog Goliath (named for his size).

7 thoughts on “Fat-o-sphere against each other

  1. I really, really like this post! I’m kind of the same, I don’t shop at “plus size” stores generally as I’m too small. But being at the larger sizes at “straight” stores I sure don’t fit in with the slim ladies. I really don’t feel like I fit in with either camp most of the time 😦 I also don’t recall I time I wasn’t battling with my weight, I do LOVE working out – but actually that doesn’t make you skinny!! I just try to be happy and healthy as I can – but its always an uphill battle.

  2. This is a great post. I’m not sure where I fit in because I have never thought about it. All I can say is that I enjoy your blog and some others of a similar variety because it allows me to get fashion tips and ideas from women who look more like me and less like models and it’s a nice thing to be able to share without judgement. I guess until we stop turning on each other and turn on the industry that makes us spend half our lives thinking about size, it will always be an uphill battle.

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