Posted in Rants & Raves

Rant & Raves: Counting my blessings

It has been a really busy and overwhelming period at work. To keep my balance in check, I actually plan what to do on my days off so that I don’t waste what little precious me-time I have. Today however, is one of those days where I caved in and just stayed for most part, in my room. On my bed. Partially affected by my arthritis, of course. I had planned to go to the gym and work on improving my 5km run-time. Instead I slept in and got out for less than an hour to shower, eat, read the papers, say hello to my grandma and that’s it.

So this rare, non-frivolous post is my way of coming to terms with what I’ve been doing to myself in the last 6 months. I wish I had more time to really live in wasted fashion, without a care and be a little more air-headed. Frivolity IS HARD! Life is still good even though it can always be better. Sometimes I lose sight of what I have when I get frustrated with a difficult period (that eventually passes).

Life has largely been revolving around work, gym and spa treats. I’m a control-freak that way and it’s so bizarre when I reflect upon it. I really love where I am in terms of my work (this is a blessing) but I can get UNNECESSARILY stressed out (this is THESUX). Then there’s the health issue. Rather than weight-loss, I’ve taken to exercising at least 2-3 times a week (depending on work schedule) to oil the engines, keep things going and just generally not rot and die. I hate exercise but I know I have to do it, so I do. My favourite thing ever is of course, my spa treats! I look forward to facials, massages and hair treatments. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. So this keeps me sane, somewhat.

I make a decent living so I can afford gym membership and beauty therapies, I’m not ashamed of being looked upon as indulgent. I’m not rich but I’m certainly not in debt, or living off anyone. That’s a blessing, right? I’ve always had a job for as long as I remember. I’ve also worked full-time for over 10 years now and believe me, when I say I know I’m lucky. Straight out of university, I had a job waiting for me. After I’ve served out my scholarship bond and wanted to move on, I found another job waiting for me. I landed both jobs with relative ease – one is conventionally respectable and the other is enviously exciting – both with their issues and merits.

Sometimes I want this. I want that. I want to be married. I want children. I want my own home. I want to eat 20cupcakes without gaining weight. I want to be taller. I wish I didn’t have limp hair when it grows longer. I wish I had a nicer body. I wish I could stop my joints from hurting when I try to open the door. I wish this and that. But I have everything I need – a nice place to live (air-conditioned room and hot showers), great friends (guy buddies who tell it like it is, gal pals to SPA-ty with), a job I enjoy (steady income, nice boss who gives me lots of autonomy) and most of all, my health (ok, this I cheat. I am actually toeing the line here but I am not bedridden yet).

Life is good. I need to remember that.


I produced an indie music festival in Singapore for 7years before I moved to the US to be with my indie game dev husband Tom who made Axiom Verge and Axiom Verge 2. We live in Los Angeles, California with our son Alastair (named for Alastair Reynolds) and our dog Goliath (named for his size).

5 thoughts on “Rant & Raves: Counting my blessings

  1. You totally are blessed and I think it’s huge to keep that perspective. I hear ya about. the cupcakes though. I want that too!! Ha!

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