Breathe

Trivial pursuits are supposed to help one balance out the severity of real life’s responsibilities. My life isn’t that tough and I have a great job but I don’t want to be too harsh on myself too. My Dad had his first severe heart attack at 33 (which is what I am now) and eventually succumed to work pressures and overstrained his heart. He was 45 when he died and I had just turned 18.

I’m not afraid of death because I make a double effort to live everyday like it’s my last but I am afraid of pain, and knowing my family’s medical history… I don’t want to be another victim of my weak genetic make-up.

The last few weeks has just been work, exercise and more work. Also trying not to gain more weight – which I’m finding so so so so hard to do.

I need a holiday from being responsible. I want to sleep in for a week, lie in bed and read, eat junk food and listen to music all day. I want to eat crispy bacon, scrambled eggs, ice cream and chicken nuggets dunked in curry sauce for breakfast. I want to go for a massage and facial everyday. I want to have 2 fried eggs and melted cheese over IndoMie for snacks. I want to stuff my face with chips and crisps with crazy creamy dips. I want to just float motionless in a pool and just drift. I want buffet lunches everyday!! I want to wake up one morning and look in the mirror and TAH DAH! I’m not unhealthy anymore! I can eat everything I want and not die!!!

How about I start getting back into dressing up and documenting my outfits first?